I can no longer remember who I was. Sometimes I sit by my bed, beside the window and I try to remember when I was happy, but I just can't. I'm not saying I was never happy, of course I was, I just can't remember because every time I try my mind just shut down and my thoughts go directly to a dead zone of darkness. And it hurts, hurts to see myself trapped inside my mind, not knowing who or what I was before shit went down in my life. I try to tell myself that things got a little better but I just can't believe that I have when my thoughts are all the same as they used to be. Each day I'm getting that feeling again, the "giving up" feeling. I can't and don't want to change that, maybe because I've already gave up a long time go but did not realise that. I cant see myself doing anything and I'm in the middle of a motherfucking crisis right now and no one cares, no one, not even myself.
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